How to Disarm the Irritating Without Saying a Word
Irritating behaviors don’t stop with words alone. Learn how to disarm them by exposing patterns and designing responses that can’t be ignored
Every person faces the same challenge — the person whose behavior is disruptive, irritating, or distracting and who seems immune to polite correction. Confront them directly and you risk escalation. Ignore them and the irritation festers.
Milton Erickson, the renowned psychotherapist, faced this as a young professor. A straight-A student constantly arrived late, apologizing profusely but never changing. On one occasion, Erickson had the entire class stand and bow when she entered, mocking her excuses. She stopped arriving late after that.
The lesson is sharp. Irritation thrives on being tolerated. When you expose it or mirror it back, it often dissolves. In leadership, consulting, or team management, this doesn’t mean cruelty. It means creative demonstration.
Expose the pattern. Show them everyone sees through the act.
Flip the script. Give them a taste of their own behavior.
Redirect attention. Use humor or exaggeration to remove their shield of denial.
There’s no need to raise their voices to deal with the irritating. They need to design experiences that make the irritation untenable.
Don’t argue with the irritating. Show them you see through them.